Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
