In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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