What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
