who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
