so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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