I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
