its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
