why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
