My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
