hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
