We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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