Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize