would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
