so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
