And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
