Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
