I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
