I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
