I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
