I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
