break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Be still, my beating vagina.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
