Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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