I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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