WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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