the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
