one two three fourrrrnication!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
