hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
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When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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