If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
