The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need to calm my uterus...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
