yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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