I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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