i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
