So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
This is not my ceiling
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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