I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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