We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
