I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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