tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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