I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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