my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
