exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
