This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
