apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
