she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
