3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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