I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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