can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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