The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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