I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
