Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
