You're so nebulous sometimes
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
