I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize