Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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