then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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