C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize