You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When are your genitals available?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
