:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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