..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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